Coach Mimi

The lunch bell had gone and I showed up in her classroom door. As soon as my daughter saw me, she hung her head. What a sweet soul, I thought as I walked over to her. Only 7 years old when her great-grandmother passed away and moving through the midst of her father’s and my divorce, she was looking stressed earlier in the day when I had let her know she had the morning of her school day to decide if she was going to the funeral. Now it was lunch time and I needed to know what her decision was as the time had been set at 1:30.

I leaned against the desk in front of her briefly wondering if I’d get out of the tiny desk if I attempted to sit all the way down. She gave me a bit of a grin when I asked her what her choice had been. I was surprised when she didn’t just give the answer; proud to realize she was giving me her rationale for the decision first.

“I made my decision based on my values, Mom.”

It took me a moment to realize the values poster we had made and hung in her room was having an impact.

“I didn’t think God would mind either way if I went. Dad doesn’t want me to go and you don’t mind either way. But I think Grandma and Grandpa would like to know that I cared and so I want to go for them,” she stated.

So succinct and yet so powerful was her decision she didn’t even bat an eye. It had taken her to value #3 (family) to make the decision as #1 was God and #2 was her parents. (I would put herself above her parents if I were to do it again…lesson learned.) She was sure of her choice and lived it with every bit of strength she had. I left her in the bathroom to change into a dress I had brought for her in case her choice was yes and we were on our way.

Have you taken the time to walk through your own core values? Making decisions becomes much easier when you know what is most important to you. Let me share mine with you. It might give you some ideas to start your own list.

1. Connections – with my Creator/Source/God (whatever label you choose makes no difference), myself, my partner, my kids, my family, friends, business team and then the world at large.
2. Education – not to be confused with schooling, I pay attention to lessons about people, mother earth and anything else that interests me.
3. Business – learning and growing as a business woman provides my talents and purpose a home…the money provides my children a home!
4. Freedom – being able to choose my friends, town, daily activities is extremely important to me.
5. Adventure/Fun – enjoying my own life, watching my children grow and full out belly laughing is an absolute daily must for me.

The best place to start in determining your own true core values is to ask yourself these two questions:

A. If ALL my bills were paid and there was no other financial obligation, what would I do with $200 left over in the month?

B. If ALL my chores, duties and work were done and there was no further time obligations, what would I do with 5 hours I had alone on the weekend?

Have fun with it! Watching my children set up their values and changing them as their understanding of life changes, makes my parenting job easier in the long run as they’ll know how to make the best choices for themselves based on their own values…not mine. That will last them way past my influence on them!!